Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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