I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
