Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
