Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
