mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Randomize
