butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
