i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
