Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Ambien. No doubt about it.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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