Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Randomize
