Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
