I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
