What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
