we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
