what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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