yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
