On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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