Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
