What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
