Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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