You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
