U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
