dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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