morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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