Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
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