U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
