Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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