Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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