Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
