Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
