im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
