If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
