I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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