My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
