Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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