Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
