Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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