your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Randomize
