Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
