KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Terrible idea I love it
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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