the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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