Me too!
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
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