im gay
i know
yea but for you.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
