I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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