I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
