I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
