So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Randomize
