You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
