Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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