there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I would ride that face into the sunset
He shit in the fireplace
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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