I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
